Lima Adventure

“Lima Adventure” my next video is out!!!!

I’m talking with one of my favourite people in the world Liz Carmelino on what is coaching ? What is vision? How the last #10weeks with Liz and her #coachingtechniques been another push from Universe to #shinemylight#breakfree #followyourbliss My new projects are being born #now .

I’m also sharing my take on #miraflores and my favourite #barranco district 

On top of the world

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At the airport at the moment, waiting for my flight to Lima. I used to fly for work a lot. Now it is a treat and a special occasion when I’m on the plane. I love it! I’m truly excited. I’ve asked for a window seat to watch the plane reaching the sky above the clouds –  Stillness. Silence.
Clouds may obscure the sky. Sometimes puffy white clouds might be there. Other times dark, heavy and stormy…yet, the sky is still there. Always present. Always there. Vivid. Blue. Still. The clouds are like our thoughts, stormy feelings and emotions. The sky is our true nature, still and silent. Always present. Always there. Untouched by the storm of Life. Keep your focus there and watch the clouds passing by…meditation helps!
I’ve decided I’m going to stay in Peru. I’m making this country my Home. I’ve started a residency process and that’s the reason behind my flight to Lima.
Over 3 years of flying around, changing places is enough. It’s been clear for me in the last year that I need home. I need a base. I need a place that I call Home. As a traveller you develop really useful skill. You are very easily adaptable. I’m coming to a place and I immediately feel like i belong here but somehow it was not enough. At least not for me.
I’m ready to build. I’m ready to create. However I need a solid foundation first. I need put down my roots. I waited for a man to show me where is my home. I waited for some “hit from above” to show me where is my home. Nothing like this has happened so…
I’m setting my roots in a foreign land where I don’t speak a language and I’m creating a business without so much clarity, founds but finally with confidence, enthusiasm, aliveness, empowerment, trust and faith in sucess and in my own skills. I’m here to create and manifest the beauty and grace. There is no going back only forward NOW
This picture was taken during my last silence retreat. On top of the world – that’s how I feel at the moment ❤
on top of the world

Isla del Sol – Bolivia

I continue with my adventure on YouTube

Here is another video from my recent trip to Bolivia.

Isla del Sol (Island of the Sun) is a Bolivian island in Lake Titicaca. Birthplace of the sun and the Incan dynasty. The bottom of the Island is at 3800m (altitude of the lake) and the top would reach almost 4100m! This video is about a beautiful hike across the island – from north (challapampa) to south (yumani).

Of course I just loved it!

Enjoy ❤

Unknown

I am in the land of the Unknown

Today I feel like a failure. A few days ago I was a very content and happy being. That is how life unfolds these days.

I have no real career, I have no real home, I’m closer to fourty these days than thirty, I can count pennies on my bank account, rather than thousands. My backpack is pretty much all I have…how have I ended up here? When did this happen?

How pitiful it is!!! Don’t buy it! I’m in a beautiful part of the world, with no real duties, as much time as I want, still eating well, still drinking a nice coffee and still having a comfortable roof over my head.  Perhaps that’s all ONE needs.

I don’t know.

I read through my old posts, 3 years of journeying ago, and wonder why have I stopped writing? When was the last time I took my camera out? Not a mobile but an actual camera? When was the last time I journaled anything? It was my source of pure joy. Why have I stopped?

I don’t know.

Back to the Unknown. I’m starting to think it’s my favourite “hang out” place. I’m regularly come back to this land. In 5 weeks I am supposed to jump on the plane back to London. It’s a big unknown at the moment if I take this flight or not….

I don’t know.

My beautiful friend, a successful coach asked me about my vision – a big picture, a reflection of what is important for me. Another friend passing by through our house after a powerful retreat asked a similar question in different words “When your energy is released, where do you want to put it? How do you want to serve?”

I don’t know.

On a day like today when I feel like a failure I just want to be left alone, in my bed laying here all day, comfortably numb, crying from time to time not really knowing why, in self-pity mode. I’m too loyal to human experience, I’m too attached to suffering to serve.

I don’t know.

When I came back from my recent retreat and I saw the sad eyes of Sufi, my heart was broken into million pieces. This creature was sooo sad. She felt so lonely and abandoned. How on the earth I can go away? She has chosen me for some reason or another, we signed the contract, she teaches me what unconditional love is. I cannot just leave her behind and go…

I don’t know.

A friend of mine introduced me to this prayer a long time ago “Please shine the light on this situation and release me from suffering“. Yes, please shine the light of conciousness. I’m in the dark. Surrender is a message I’m getting. Surrender, NOT as a giving up, passivity or weakness, but surrender as an act of courage, freedom, of TRUST. Surrender is the most important attitude in spirituality or actual life, whether you recognise the spirit or not. Without surrender you would not be able to love, there would be no friendship, no compassion, no forgiveness. Surrender is taking us beyond our little ego bubble, beyond our limitation, beyond our attachments, straight into the Unknown, straight into trust, straight into the Heart. “Come to the edge,” he said. “We can’t, we’re afraid!” they responded.  “Come to the edge,” he said. “We can’t, We will fall!” they responded. “Come to the edge,” he said. And so they came. And he pushed them. And they FLEW”

Here are the pictures from the most beautiful place I’ve had the privilege to be – The Lake Titicaca and Isla Amantani. A very powerful spot to meditate. That’s where the drama I’m experiencing now begun. Sometimes after a period of practice where the mind is calm, where the mind is put at bay and we touch something deep within us – and recently my practice was strong to the point of escapism – the mind come back with the earthquake and tsunami all together trying to remind me “I’m still running this show” Perhaps you do honey, but not for long, not for long…

with love

always

It’s my Name Day today. I’m indulging in sugar and than will go back to bed. Mooji says “You have to be like the cow that jumped over the moon, and this moon is your mind. You have to jump over it” I’m too attached to Gosia to jump. I’m taking a bath in “the suffering” today. Why?

I don’t know

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Taray

I’ve moved to this little village just outside Pisac – Taray. The moment I saw a signpost I  knew it’s my place. Tara is in the Tibetan Buddhism the Goddess of Love & Compassion, The Mother Creator. She is a female Buddha, an enlightened one that has attained the highest wisdom, capability and compassion. I could not imagine a better place to live!

It’s a small village mainly with the locals and few gringos like me. No coffee shops to hang out, no supermarket, just few tiendas, main plaza with a church and pretty much during a day nothing is going on there. My new place is very comfortable (with a gas shower not an electric “suicide shower”this time), located by the river with a huge garden where Sufi (have I mentioned I have a dog?) is spending most of her time. Perfect!

The locals probably have never heard about the Goddess Tara, but they do worship the Virgin Mary. The weekend when I moved in there was a fiesta de Virgen de Rosario (Matka Boża Różańcowa, no idea what is an english equivalent). I have never seen anything like this! No, it was not a spiritual experience, Virgen de Rosario was only an excuse for 4 days of full on fiesta with live bands, private parties (cargos), processions, spectacles, bull fight in the plaza!, feasts and lots, lots I mean lots of beer. It looked like this event was sponsored by some brewery as people were constantly carried boxes of beer. That’s how I find out about the cargo system.

Cargo system is like a social system, confirmation of social hierarchy. The key families in the village ‘show’ their devotion to the Virgin by organising the cargo -a party in their house providing a band, dancers, food and drinks to all participants. Apparently it’s a privilege, confirmation of the status and the way to ascend in the local social hierarchies. It cost a little fortune but in return their generosity is blessed by Grace of the Virgen de Rosario…Whatever rocks your boat me thinks

Here are few pictures from this colourful, extremely loud, the whole day long celebration of Divine Famine 😉

 

 

 

 

Let go

I’ve been dropped, fired, let go, or just removed from the schedule. Either way I’m not teaching there. At least for the time being.

I have not even started. God only knows what I was thinking when I said yes… I said yes to cover a morning vinyasa class in the popular studio in the city.  Me being thrown into a proper studio format, trying to be more a power yoga teacher than still was a ready recipe for a disaster. Now I know. I’m taking full responsibility for this. Lesson learned.
The reaction was strong. An anger was trown at me. My teaching skills questioned. There is sadness of course, but at the same time a deep feeling that this shake up was needed. Perhaps this experience was a huge shout from the Universe to focus more on physicality and not only the mind/spirit side of the practise. Perhaps it was a huge shout from the Universe that yoga is not my path and I should put all energy only into meditation? Perhaps  it was a huge shout from the Universe to stop trying to fit in but just be ME, to stop trying to do things under other people’s umbrella, but finally start my own project . I’m sure there is a lesson for me to learn here. I will take time to understand it deeper.
Peru continues to challenge me. The cycle of change is short here. The moment I feel comfortable with something, BOOM a hit from above. Nope Miss Gosia, you are not meant to be in “the comfort zone” seat , your seat is in the “challenge” section. I have no idea why I attract challenges so much. Just in the couple of weeks I found and lost the house, I found and lost the job, I found and lost friends, constant change, constant come and go and as my heart is open the joy is mixed with sadness constantly. Rumi said:
“Love is best when mixed with anguish.
In our town, we won’t call you a Lover if you escape the pain.
Look for Love in this way, welcome it to your soul, 
and watch your spirit fly away in ecstasy.”
This morning my reflection on the way to Cusco was one: I’m so blessed. I’m so blessed. I’m so blessed. I never had less than I have now but I feel rich. I never has less security than now and I feel safe. I never had my heart broken so many times in such short period of time and I feel love. I continue to have time and space to just be. My beloved Ramana said: “Your only duty is to be, not to be this and that.” I keep forgetting that, but perhaps the constant life challenges keep reminding me to drop the story, to drop the egoic-mind, to drop the joy or sadness and just BE before any of these rise. Perhaps Life wants me to learn this lesson and I keep refusing and keep trying to be something, not just BE.
I do my best. That’s all I can do so its good …“Have faith in God and in yourself; that will cure all. Hope for the best, expect the best, toil for the best and everything will come right for you in the end” – Ramana Maharshi
A bit of Cusco through my eyes ❤