49-day Retreat

49 days…wow…I still cannot believe I’m doing this. It feels like I took some express road completely unintentionally. Everything on my path accelerate with abnormal speed. Silent retreats, teacher training, now this. It’s all very intense, in relatively short period of time and I still don’t understand how, why it’s all unfolding for me. I don’t understand the purpose, but I guess I don’t have to. All I know is that I need this for something. All the skills, all the insights are needed for something I will be doing later.

So what this 49 days are going to look like? First 10 days begins with a regular silent retreat that I’ve been doing every month now. It’s in a group, at school so all familiar environment. On a day 10th I think twelve of us (yes, it’s a very small retreat) will be taken to a place call Aqua Blanca. Apparently it’s lees then 2 hours from here. It’s a hotel right on the beach. Again apparently quite remote, quite deserted area only with local fishermen and some locals on the beach during a weekend. Other than that that’s it! It’s only us there. We all have our private room described in a general email “suggested items to bring”  like this : “Every room has a balcony with a sea view, a hammock, a chair, a table, a bathroom, a big bed, a fan and something that is supposed to be a cupboard, but is not really functional.” Further “Clothes: comfortable light cozy clothes. However, you won´t need much, as you will be probably spend most of the time half-naked in your private room. And that made me laugh  “Maybe provide yourself also with some nuts and other treats for the entire 49 days” Treats for 49days? Shall I take a supermarket with me? Do they not know that I’m addicted to food? Have I not mentioned it in my application form?:)

Anyway I’ve been asked how do I prepare to this retreat. I don’t. There is nothing you can do to prepare just meditate min 2hrs a day. As a matter of fact I’m a bit rebellion at the moment. I barely go to school at the moment, I barely mediate and I have not done any yoga for 2 weeks now. I’m allowing this to happen. I’m allowing the rebellion part of me to have a feast at the moment. I don’t force myself to anything anymore.

What am I going to do there? Well there is a suggested schedule for a day, but of course you do what you want. You are in solitude. There is no group meditation, no lecture, no reading, no music allowed, just you in your room and on a beach if you choose so. Yes, some people don’t leave their room for the whole period there. I have not seen this suggested itinerary but heard from people from last year that more less you wake up with the sun and go to bed with the moon. Have I mentioned that there is a limited amount of electricity in the hotel? I guess they have few solar panels so that leaves you with no choice, but to follow the nature or to throw a romantic party with candles and me, myself and I each evening. I know it’s getting better and better more I tell you about this retreat:) So suggested itinerary includes 8 hours of meditation a day, 1-2 hours of yoga. I personally want to catch every sunrise and sunset. I want to meditate as long as my body allows me, and do ridiculously long yoga sessions. Once after TTC we did 4 hours of Hatha and it was an amazing feeling. An hour of sublimation, an hour of inverted asanas. I was flying after that for sure!

So what is my intention? Rumi says “Take away what I want. Take away what I do. Take away what I need.Take away everything that takes me from you.” That’s all what I want. Take away everything that keeps me away from you, me, me without me, the Self

I’m reposting my About section just to remind myself what this whole journey was/is about. That’s what I’ve written 14 months ago. It’s still valid, every sentence, every word…

So after 10 years of being good corporate citizen I’ve decided it is time to spread my wings and fly. I have a dream. Dream to fly high and to be free. This journey is all about inspiration. I want to be inspired by people, places, experiences. I want to wake up my creativity, nourish my soul and test adult, very self-aware me in the different places, with different people, different lifestyles and environments. So… I’ve sold majority of my things, made myself unemployed and kind of homeless and started this adventure. I’m giving myself the luxury of time. No rush, no pressure, no expectations. It’s me, myself and I and the world to explore. It’s not about destination, it’s about the journey. I’m letting myself just to be, sit in the coffee shop, talk to the strangers and let people to inspire me! Wish me luck, wisdom and open mind so I can see, understand and translate everything what is happening to me. Enjoy this journey with me! Cheers, Gosia

With this experience I’m allowing not people to inspire me but to find this inspiration within me. Everything, everything, everything you need to know in life is inside you. Just sit down and listen. That’s what am I going to do for the next 49 days. Calmly quietly, without drama listen.

I’ve started stripping myself off in outerworld so here is me…

Now I do the same in my inner world…

Love my loved ones. Your support is always appreciated. See you sometime in March x