Quo Vadis

It’s been a while.. for some reason I had no need to write anything.

Where I am? Who I am? Where am I going? I don’t know. Some days it feels like I’m just going deeper and deeper into a fog. I cannot see where I’m going, and the way back has become blur as well. It’s a very thick fog. The things instead of becoming clear are becoming more and more mysterious and you know what? Me instead of becoming more and more worried I’m blossoming more and more each day. I’m opening myself to life, to people and giving up a control and need to know what’s next…

The most amazing discovery I recently had was to distinguish my mind desires from my heart desires. My mind somehow wants to settle down, follow the society trend, be a wife, be a mum. I know, I do absolutely nothing to make it happen and I’ve finally understood why. These desires are created in my mind. I can fulfill them easily, but you know what’s going to happen? There going to be a new one! Everything in our mind is a subject to change. Nothing is permanent. You can spend a lifetime fulfilling the mind desires and you still want more and more and more. Never satisfied, always missing something, deep deep inside knowing there is something more and you know why? Because these desires are not coming from our hearts. You think something is a good idea, but do you feel it?

In the modern, western society we listen a mind not a heart. Yes, we say “follow your heart”, but in reality we “follow the logic”. I had to travel 34 years to discover that I was one of them. I hope not anymore… That’s why it’s not the end of my diving. I now want to  discover what my heart really wants. It may follow the mind, or may go totally an opposite direction. I strongly believe this is a life changing moment. A minute you start to fulfill your heart desires, nothing else really matters. Your heart is pure, there is no ego, there is no pros and cons, there is only love and your true self.

Last weekend I attended an amazing workshop at Hridaya Yoga centre. It was 3 very intense days and the subject was “From Pain to Peace”. How to transform any pain, life difficulties from a broken heart to trauma into awareness. What a beautiful time it was!! I love working in a group. If there is a safe space magic can happen, and it did. We were all on the same page, open to share, open to an experience. We cried, we laughed and we all opened our hearts to each other. It was such a powerful, healing experience. If you ever get a chance to be in Mazunte please try this workshop. Every single human being on this planet has experienced a pain. We’ve learnt to internalized it instead of expressing it, but once you start to live with an open heart you cannot help yourself…you heal yourself and others just by being your true self.

I’m still in Mazunte so here are some pictures from today. However yesterday I had this random feeling “you live on Monday” so I will. Next stop San Cristobal. I might be moving slow, but i’m moving deep:))

As always with love x